mes désirs

i had decided to blog here instead: http://mes-desirs.blogspot.com/

Monday Blues

I was woken up a sms just now. When I woke up, I panic in fear because I thought I had overslept and it is already Monday morning. In my mind, I was exclaiming “Oh s***! I had overslept and I am going to be late for the presentation. Why didn’t I set my alarm clock and why am I so careless? I had yet to go through what my colleague had done for the presentation, what if he fails to deliver what he promised me again, how am I going to answer to my client later? And I had yet to study for my exams!” I can practically feel the whole world collapsing down on me due to my failure to set my alarm clock. Argh…

Just when I was navigating through my handphone, wanting to check my sms, I realize it is still a Sunday evening! It is really a “phew”, “Thank God!” and “Praise The Lord!”. But sadly to say, that also means that I have to go and make myself a cup of coffee so that I can work through the night. Haiz…Monday blues…Another round of warfare tomorrow.

My New Baby

A man will spend $598 to buy what he needs, A woman will spend $598 to buy what she doesnt need

White Tea

I was sipping my cup of hot white tea and eating kaya kuei while writing this entry. Suddenly I felt that this is the most relaxing moment for the past few weeks. The aroma from the cup of white tea never fails calms me down, making me forget about the pile of work that I have at the moment.

Missing

Today, grandpa went missing. I was really very worried that something bad had happened to him. It was late at night and I can’t help but to start wondering if he was knocked down by a car. I could not do anything but to pray that God’s hands of protection will be over him and he will be back home safely.

Thank God that my grandpa finally returned home safely. He walked all the way from Boon Lay back to Jurong East instead of taking a bus. That took him 3 hours and that explains why he was missing.

Defeated

This is my very last message to my colleague just now when he fails to meet the deadline again: “Hope you understand where I am coming from. I need to answer to both the client and boss. After the review, I will need you to put in extra efforts to finish up the application. We will discuss the outstanding issues tomorrow after the review; just try to show as much as you could for the presentation tomorrow.”

I had long lost my patience over him, yet I had to pretend to be nice. And when I am nice, it doesn’t mean I am not serious about the things that I had said. I feel defeated.

Down

Been feeling very down recently because of work. A lot of deadline overrun and delay. I really don’t know what should I do. To help or not to help? If I don’t help and he cant deliver the project on time, it is my fault and not his because I am the project manager and he is the programmer. But if I were to help, I feel very unjustified because he has been playing games everyday during office hours. Why should I burn my weekends to help him with those works that he is suppose do where I could have use the time to prepare for my exams?

Sleepy

I am so tired and sleepy now even though it is only 10pm. Just when I decided to go to sleep after surfing for another 5-10 minutes, I saw this on http://www.studylight.org/

The disciples went to sleep when they should have kept awake

Matthew 26:46

So should I sleep or should I not?

Dilemma

Somehow, I will always feel very stress when people ask me if I am going over to States this year. I don’t know why. Perhaps my decision is not firm or perhaps I am worried about the outcome.

If the opportunity of going overseas is given to me when I was younger, I would have leave without giving much thought to it. Now, there are too much things to weigh before making the decision. Ironically as it may seems, I always wanted to study/work overseas and my mum will always discourage me from making any plans. Now that when she feels that I should go, some part of me wants to stay behind. Men are complex, especially women.

Unethical Motives

Finally I got to know the reason why my colleague is resigning. Curiosity/guilt got the hold of me and I went to ask my boss if my colleague is resigning because of me always changing her design. Well, his answer is no. The reason why she wanted to resign is because she is going for medical surgery and she wants to take a rest after her surgery. She told my boss that she has to leave within 2 days (which normally, all staffs are required to give a 2 months notice for resignation) because of her surgery and she had just reformatted her laptop without backing up all the files, thus all the source files are lost.

Seriously, after knowing that she deleted all the source files from her laptop, I no longer had the guilt in me. And in fact, I feel very disappointed for her actions. I really find no reasons to justify why she needs to reformat her laptop without backing up all the source files. Perhaps I am being too quick to judge, but obviously, her actions are not accidental and she could be sued if my boss is to pursue this matter.

However, out of all the unpleasant things that had happened, I thank God that one of the freelance designer that my company engages, volunteer to assist me in my project free of charge, which means I still have hopes of delivering my project in time and within budget =)